So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
