your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
