hell yes lets make some ravioli
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
