Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
