I'm laying in your front yard are you home
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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