dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
