Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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