I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
