Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
