Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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