Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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