Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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