I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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