y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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