Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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