omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woke up backwards on a recliner
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
