So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't trust your balls anymore.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
