That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
