Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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