We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
