My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
