im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
How's work?
Spinning.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
