Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
