I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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