Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
