I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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