ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
