i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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