I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
