You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
