It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He did a backflip because drugs
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
