Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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