therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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