There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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