some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
