ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
