I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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