True but thats because hes a fetus.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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