can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
