You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
