Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
