I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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