I like to think it a success when the cops are called
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
