im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
