i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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