I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
