I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
