We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
