His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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