ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
