Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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