if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
